April 26, 2009 - 3:20 p.m.
crazy dream
i woke up at around 5:30am this morning and took a little while to settle back to sleep - alot on the mind these days and trying to remember gratitude and let go... i started the mantra let it go, let it go, it helped and so finally i fell back asleep and had one of those most vivid dreams i have been able to recall in a long time after waking in terror i wrote it by hand. here is an attempt at typing it out.
I am sitting alone at a diner with menus in front of me there are like ten of them and they are pop-up books- i get a text message from this man who is not anyone i recignize. well the text asks if i am on the way? then the waitress comes over and tells me she just made a waffle no one wants and asks if I would like it for free. I say ok and she puts this huge like 2 tiered waffle sopping with syrup onto a plate then puts it into a bag decorated with all these faces on the outside i didn't know the people the waitress hands me the bag then tells me if i sign this sheet i can get some money i say ok and sign the sheet. I then look in my purse and it is full of money and see my phone has a text from the man the text says i took too long to show up and he has been kidnapped. I panic then i can see him and a friend that i am not sure who - not being there but the action is happening - and several other people tied up and being gagged and yelled at by these masked men holding knives- and i finally reach him and he is on the second floor of the diner and they are free and the incident is over by the time i get there, i suggest we go to the police station to file a report and they go in and give a statement the man tells me to leave and meet him downtown at this bodega- so i find him outside with a few guys and he shoves what i think is cinnamon gum into my mouth and i start chewing and it ends up being a red condom so i spit it out and this man and his friends are laughing at me blowing up condoms and throwing them at me. They go inside then come back out with bags and say lets go back to the house- we are back there and the man tells me he wants to have fun with what he learned during his incident and he takes these clear what look like old time medicine bottles out and starts mixing them and i say no i am not interested and he pours them onto a napkin and says it will be ok and i am saying "please no" "please stop" then his friend grabs me and ties my arms around my back and then the man pushes the fabric against my face and i turn completely paralysed i can see everything that is happening but i can't move or do anything about it and he goes into his pocket and takes a knife out and starts slashing my face and cutting deeply into my wrists and telling me no one will ever love me the way he does i see blood everywhere then wake up ahhhh
